I keep trying, I do! I feel like I'm going out of my mind. This is all I hear in my head every afternoon:
At his age, he is supposed to be getting 10-12 hours of sleep a night and about 1-2 during the day. Right now, he is just getting the 12 at night.
Is this the end of naps forever? I know I can't in good conscience stop trying...or, at the very least, giving him quite time with a book. The problem is, he runs around and pulls his room apart. We stripped his room down yesterday to the bare essentials to try to show him that his room is a place to rest...
Please pray for me. I'm not even religious, I just need him to sleep!
For almost 20 years, I worked. When I wasn't working full-time, I was in school. Then, I had my son and decided I wanted, no needed, to be his full-time caregiver.
For the first year, we were able to give naps on the road, in the swing, in the car seat, etc. In fact, car naps and stroller naps seemed to work the best. It was during these long car-trips that talk radio became both my friend and foe. Then, my son started taking naps at home and talk radio all but disappeared from Boston radio.
These naps left me with anywhere from 2-3 hours in the afternoon, where I filled the time with my volunteer work, freelance work, chores, various projects, and, more often than not, due to the exhaustion of raising a toddler full-time, spending the time by my self vegging out to daytime tv.
Nothing makes you feel worse about yourself than daytime television. When I was home sick as a teen, I watched Soap Operas, but now the thought makes me feel like an 80 year old woman. When I was home sick as an adult, when I wasn't sleeping, I would watch Maury or Steve Wilkos. This felt like a guilty pleasure, at the time. Now, I'm left with court shows and Dr. Phil.
These shows feel exploitative. I realize no one is forcing these people to go on tv. They do it by choice, but dear god if many of these people are not deeply flawed. At first, it made me feel better about myself. Divorce Court gave me some good marriage tips, Dr. Phil provided me with some great insight into my own problems, and the court shows never let the skeevy people get away with things. Yet, being bombarded with commercials from ambulance chasers, people yelling at me to go back to school to learn a trade, and weight loss/diabetes products, started making me feel like shit.
I am definitely not saying people who are at home during the afternoon are shit. We are stay-at-home moms, people with illnesses, people who work nights and are just getting up, older people who can't leave the house... In reality, I could be watching CNN or reading a book, but that takes some brainpower that I sometimes don't have after 6+ hours of only dealing with/chasing/chauffeuring a 2.5 year old. Trash tv has a numbing effect, like a stiff drink or junk food. Neither is good for you, but that is not the point.
For all the mind-numbing, though, you do start to question why you are watching these programs. According to the commercials you are an underemployed, overweight slacker with multiple kids - even if you are a man - which, actually, they seem to assume you are a woman. The programming seems to show that you live in an urban area and like to try to pull scams. Either yourself or at least one of your family members has been molested, done drugs, and/or is in/has been in jail. You and your baby daddy aren't together and when you are, you cheat. Even if you are not cheating, the other person will always think you are and use it as justification to cheat. You will both verbally and, on occasion, physically abuse each other, use each others' cars without permission, and pee on your friends' laptops (that was a case - the "friend" was refusing to pay for the damaged laptop, because he was drunk when he peed on it).
I liken it to going to the freak-show expecting to gawk at the freaks, only to see yourself in a fun house mirror and, for a split second, think you are on display. Gobble gobble one of us!
I know it won't always be this way. In fact, my son is unfortunately starting to transition out of naps; and, hey, it beats repetitive children's programming! At some point, he will be in school and I will go back to work and I will most likely miss my afternoons of trash tv...Or maybe I will be so thrilled to put on makeup, do my hair, wear something besides yoga pants and a hoodie, and be able to have coffee in silence and converse with adults that I won't! We'll see...
The scanned picture above is of my maternal grandfather and his father. My grandfather was a US Marine who fought in World War II. In fact, his picture is in Life Magazine, but the family copy disappeared after my grandmother passed.
I was just shy of ten years old, when my grandfather died. Cancer and grief took its toll on him and he died at home in a hospital bed. The last few weeks he wasn't conscious. He had battled Cancer for a few years. The had found it, by accident, when he was taken to the hospital during a car accident. He fought hard, until his oldest son passed, and then things went down hill quickly. My uncle's funeral was the only time I had ever seen my grandfather cry.
My grandfather and I were very close. My mother was a single mother with custody of my brother and I during the week and every other weekend. On the weekend that my father didn't have us, we spent the weekend with my mother's parents.
I didn't know my grandfather was a marine until I was much older. He had met my grandmother on the beach, when they were teenagers. He enlisted not long after, before they were married. According to everyone in the family, he never talked about the war as long as he lived.
You would never know my grandfather was a soldier. He was a kind man with a great sense of humor. Your typical Jewish father. The type of man who would never hurt a fly. At first, he drove a fruit truck for a company he co-owned with his father, that delivered produce to area restaurants. Later, he drove a Checker Cab. Only once did someone try to rob him. He continued driving until he was diagnosed.
There are others in my family who served. My step-brother was in the Navy for several tours of duty. My step-father and his siblings all served in the army during Vietnam; his youngest brother being killed in the Beirut bombing of the 1980s. My other step-father was in the reserves. My grandfather was the most surprising, though. To know him was to know he wouldn't hurt a fly.
I don't believe in war, but I know why we've fought them. I don't believe in guns, but I know why we need them. I can't imagine giving up your personal freedoms to fight for what you believe is right. I can't imagine knowing that at some point you will either be injured, killed, or need to kill. You will not see your family for some time or ever again. You give this sacrifice so that others, including the future generations you have never met, may never have to. Being a soldier is selfless work. It requires a great amount of personal strength and courage. A strength and courage that not many have in us.
My grandfather was lucky. He returned in one piece, got married, and raised three children in a modest middle class family in the suburbs of Boston. He then spent every other weekend with his granddaughter and grandson, taking day trips and playing boardgames.
There were areas of his life where he was not lucky - mainly the Cancer and the untimely death of his son - but, in regards to his sacrifice, he was lucky. The generation after him lost many of their sons and the ones that did come home came home disfigured and/or in deep psychological pain. A lot of these soldiers were not able to fully return to normal civilian life. Some became homeless or worse.
Tomorrow is Veteran's Day. November 11, 1918 was considered the day when World War I officially ended. In 1938, November 11, aka Veteran's Day, was made an official US holiday. A year later World Was II began. Since that time, we've had the Korean War, the Gulf War, the war in Afghanistan... Generations of families have sent their sons and daughters to foreign lands. These men and women say goodbye to their children, never knowing if they will see them again.
The US Department of Veteran's Affairs calls Veteran's Day: "a celebration to honor America's veterans for their patriotism, love of
country, and willingness to serve and sacrifice for the common good." Let us say a thanks to all of the men and women in our lives who served or are serving. Let us remember the lives of those who have passed. I know I will take the time to remember my grandfather and the sacrifice he made.
Thanks to having a toddler boy, I think I've seen the Disney movie, Cars, about 107 times...maybe more. Somewhere around the 85th viewing, I started to wonder what the cars would look like if they were real people. Unfortunately, the closest I can get to answering my question is the voice actors. I think it would be cool, though, if someone drew all of the characters as living people. I mean, Sally probably doesn't look exactly like Bonnie Hunt, and Larry the Cable guy, as far as I know, doesn't have buck teeth.
I realize I've lost the cool of my youth. I am talking in depth about cartoons instead of microbrews, gastronomy, and indie rock. Ugh...
Anyway, for the other parents out there who are subjected to daily viewings of this film, here are the basic main characters from Cars matched up to their voice actors and the cars they are based on. Maybe I'll do the others another time.
Lightening McQueen aka Owen Wilson
According to Wikipedia, McQueen is "based on generic NASCAR vehicles, but with design influences from the Mazda Miata and Dodge Viper." I happened to look through the pics and he looked most like a Dodge Viper SRT-10 ACR, so that's what I'm posting.
Tow Mater aka Larry the Cable Guy
1951 International Harvester Tow Truck
Sally Carrera aka Bonny Hunt
Porsche 996 Motorcar
Doc Hudson aka Paul Newman
1953 Hudson Wasp
Luigi aka Tony Shaloub
1959 Fiat 500
Guido aka Quido Quaroni
1950s Isetta Forklift
Fillmore aka George Carlin
1960 Volkswagon Bus
Sarge aka Paul Dooley
Willy's MB Jeep
Flo aka Jenifer Lewis
According to Wikipedia, "[Flo] appears to be inspired by three early- to mid-1950s show cars: the 1951 Le Sabre
(front-end lines, the basic hood shape, lights mounted near the
corners, and front-quarter trim), the 1951 Buick XP-300 (side trim), and
the 1956/57 Chrysler Dart (cockpit, deck lid, and tailfins)." I've posted the 1956 Chrysler Dart.
Ramone aka Cheech Marin
1959 Chevrolet Impala Lowrider
I promise to post something more adult, next time. ;-)
I keep thinking of things to write, but then either deem them too private for public consumption or not well thought out, enough. I am my own worst critic and, now that I have a child, worry a lot about how much of my personal life I expose to the internet.
As a result, I am going to give myself a little bit of a rest (especially because little man has not napped in what is going on 4 days...argh!!!) and share some music that I currently enjoy.
Starlight Mints - Pages (Built on Squares, 2003)
Beirut - Elephant Gun (Elephant Gun EP, 2007)
Guided By Voices - The Official Ironmen Rally Song
Band of Horses - The Funeral (Everything All The Time, 2006)
Empire of the Sun - Walking on a Dream (Walking on a Dream, 2009)
Empire of the Sun - Swordfish Hotkiss Night (Walking on a Dream, 2009)
CSS - Alala (Cansei de Ser Sexy, 2006)
Bombay Bicycle Club - Shuffle (A Different Kind of Fix, 2011)
Archers of Loaf - Web in Front (Icky Mettle, 1993)
Miike Snow - Song For No One (Miike Snow, 2009)
There are hundreds more I want to post, but I think, for today, I will just leave it at this. I'll probably post more another time. Hope you enjoy!
I remember many of the books that were read to me as a child. Reading was important in our household, growing-up, and my brother and I both learned to read prior to starting kindergarten. It is a value I am trying to pass down to my son.
His father would read to him, every night, when he was in-utero. When he arrived, we continued reading books during baths, with our bedtime routine, and, as he got older, with our nap-time routine. We even went (and still go) to playgroups/story-times at local bookstores and libraries. As a result, the little man loves books. He loves looking at the pages and making up his own stories from what he sees in the pictures. When it's time for bed, he will demand you read him 4-5 books.
I remember, pre-child, not knowing what children read. Don't get me wrong, I remember George and Martha, Good Night Moon, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, but as an adult, I did not really see the joy of children's books. There is a poetry to the stories, a beauty in the art. How magical is it that a young child can hold a work of art in his/her hands and really visit it through the words he hears?
Now that he is in our lives, my toddler has a pretty set line-up of books he loves to hear over and over again. Here are a few that your child might love, as well:
1. Goodnight Moon
This one is fun, in that, he can be involved in the reading of the book. I ask him what is in the bowl ("mush"), what the old lady says ("hush"), and what is in the first picture ("a cow jumping over the moon"). The book also has some great spoofs, like Good Night Goon, which we love to read around Halloween. And, for parents, we have fun things like this (not even remotely safe for work):
2. Knuffle Bunny: A Cautionary Tale
Another book that gets your child involved. Now that we have read this one a few times, I like to change to role of Trixie to J, the places they go to places in our house, and Knuffle Bunny to whatever is J's favorite toy at the time. When his friends are over, I do the same with them. At the end, you get them to yell the first word that they ever say. It's a good time had by all. Mo Willems, who used to work on Sesame Street, is great - kids seem to love all of his books, including Naked Mole Rat, Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus, etc. Pro tip: Willems has an exhibit on display at Amherst's Eric Carle Museum!
3. Brown Bear / The Very Hungry Caterpillar
Speaking of Eric Carle, I never really thought much of his work, prior to visiting the museum and really seeing what goes into his art. It's really amazing and much more complicated than it looks!
Who am I kidding though, it's not about me! My little dude loves hearing these again and again. They are very simple stories with bright colors and interesting pictures. You don't just see animals, you see them through Carle's imagination. A purple cat, a blue horse, a caterpillar who eats sausages and cake... These stories were also beloved to my husband as a child. The good part about the simple nature of the text is that, after time, your child can open the book and read it to himself without knowing how to read (if that makes sense).
4. I Took the Moon For a Walk
Barefoot Books is not just an amazing publisher, it's an amazing community and place. Their American studio is located in Concord, MA and is beautiful. They not only offers classes, story times, crafts, and more, the studio is also a great place for a child's birthday party.
J loves the vast majority of their books, but this one seems to be his favorite. It's the story of a little boy who sees the moon overhead as a traveling companion. It's a wonderful way to wind down prior to bed - beautiful imagery and a song-like story. Plus, it doesn't hurt that the little man loves the moon, swings, and dogs.
5. Little Blue Truck
We love the original Little Blue Truck, but this seems to be the preferred version of the two. It's basically the story of a kind and well-mannered little truck - pretty much what you want your kids to be. Yet, it doesn't beat them over the head with the moral of the story. Boys love trucks, mud, and noises. These books have all of that.
6. The Adventures of Taxi Dog
This one is great if you have an adopted animal or tend to work with/visit your local shelters. The story is about a stray dog named Maxi who is rescued by a taxi driver. They have all kinds of adventures. I miss my dog.
7. Be Quiet, Mike!
I have not been able to find this one anywhere, besides the library, which is odd, because a.) it's great and b.) Patricelli is a pretty popular children's author. Usually, she does pretty simple board books that teach young children about opposites, being well-behaved, and about using the potty. This book is a delightful departure from that. It's about a monkey named Mike, who we assume is in elementary school. He has a passion for the drums, but no outlet for it. This book has a lot of fun sounds to make and a refrain that kids love to yell - "BE QUIET, MIKE!!" You can't lose with noise and yelling, when it comes to a 2 year old!
Which books do your child(ren) love?
Addendum: If you enjoy the Patricelli book, a great collection to invest in is the Baby Loves Jazz series. These books come with CDs that are actually enjoyable to adults, too! My son was hooked on Ella Elephant before he was even fully aware of his surroundings. The only sad thing is that some of the titles in the collection have since gone out of print; but the rest can be found in specialty children's book stores and on Amazon. They make great gifts for the babies of musical parents, too!
Not the best example of the series, but you get the picture.
Today has been crap - one of those days where you wish you could have stayed in bed. Being a mom doesn't allow this, though. Some days, it's the best job in the world and some days it can be unbelievably frustrating.
I love my son with all of my heart, he really is a good kid, and I don't completely blame this day from hell on him. Yes, having to listen to Yo Gabba Gabba 4 over and over again can be maddening, no matter how much you enjoy the bands on it. It's even more maddening when he wants to listen to it and then has you scan through each song several times saying "no dis one!!!" to each one. I mean, EVERY, song on the CD! When I told him he obviously didn't like the CD, so I was turning it off, he freaked. F-ing toddlers, man! Pretending you can't here him doesn't work, as he gets upset and keeps asking you to put the CD back on - the same one he hates all of the songs on now...maybe because we've heard them so many times!!! Argh!!!
If these were my friends, I wouldn't bite them - I'd dick punch them. Hard. With steel-toed boots...
He was punished and did apologize to the woman who accidentally got a handful of crayons to the face at the playgroup this morning ("we don't throw" is becoming a monotonous daily chant; while persistence is beginning to pay off, it is still exasperating when he knows better, gets excited and throws something, anyway, and someone gets hurt). Punishment was leaving, immediately. No more animals, crayons, playdough, or stickers. No more fun with other kids. Although, secretly, it was also the only way to get him out of the building and to the car. We HAD to leave. The playgroup is at the local animal shelter and, today, someone decided not to pick up their dog shit. Guess what? Little man stepped in it. His shoes, with tons of treds, were ruined. His white pants, also, became smeared all over with shit. It happened to be one of those rare days, when we didn't have a change of clothes. Cue taking him - a 2.5 year old - in a diaper, blanket, and shirt - to our favorite second hand children's clothing store for new shoes and pants. You would think things would now be on the up, but you would be wrong.
You see, Cambridge, where my spouse works, and where we dropped him off at work this morning and then had to go back through to get from the playgroup to the clothing store, has some lovely people who think the best place to park their BMW is right in the middle of a crowded street. Even better when men driving giant trucks think it is cool to live park in the only lane open, thanks to heavy construction. Did I mention that jackass hipster (NOT cop or construction worker; I'm talking a random dude here...) who decided today was a great day to start trying to direct traffic? Or the dinks in their Prius', on their bikes, and on their scooters who whip out into on-coming traffic and hope for the best, despite having a stop sign/light and about an inch between them and the grill of your car? Remember the non-stop chants of "no dis one" and the soundtrack of Yo Gabba Gabba? Try to stay sane during all of that.
The remedy to all of this madness seemed simple - get some chocolate, put little man down for an early nap, and try to get in a hot shower... Except, the hot water died out after 5 minutes, the boy is still awake upstairs banging around, and the chocolate wasn't that great.
If I had more time to myself and some more disposable cash, I would love to just go out by myself for a relaxing mani-pedi and a drink. Alas, I put my pajamas on and am laying bundled up on the couch, typing this entry out, while Unsolved Mysteries plays in the background.
I have to say, despite the crap day, it was nice to sit down in comfy clothes and read some books to my son, hearing "I love you, mama" and getting a sweet hug and kiss. It's even better to be able to plant my ass on the couch for a few hours and do nothing. The dishes in the sink, the toys on the floor, and everything else I need to do around the house can wait. It might have been a bad day, but my life is blessed. I just need to remind myself of that when life is making me nuts!
